


Three Words (Before You Go)

by Psyche_loverJCM



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Away for a while, Come back be here, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, angry, bestfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25842877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psyche_loverJCM/pseuds/Psyche_loverJCM
Summary: Keith is now part of The Blade of Marmora, meaning he has to leave behind Lance back at the Palace. The two keep in touch. Two friends who secretly want to be with each other. But a series of unfortunate events caused a riff between them, all of them Keith's fault. Can they keep this up?(I made this because I want more angsty fics that has "I know you're gonna leave but please say you love me before I go". Yep, I'm a sucker for them.)
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Kudos: 35





	Three Words (Before You Go)

“When’s your next mission?” Lance said.

Keith looked away from his direction. “Tomorrow.”

Lance stopped walking, forcing Keith to do the same. Tangerine reflected against his eyes, the glint of tears evident to Keith’s sight. He always knew that he would leave one day or another. The Blade of Marmora required tons of time and dedication from its troops, but he was still surprised to know that he would only stay for a day, and how he wouldn’t say it if not for Lance asking.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” The Former Leader of Voltron didn’t bother to look at him, shame filling his organs. “I said,” Lance reiterated, “why didn’t you tell me?” Despite his angry tone, Keith could still feel the hurt laced in his words.

“I didn’t want you to know when I was gone.”

“And then what? Leave me the first thing in the morning?” Lance voice cracked.

Keith turned his head towards Lance. “Lance . . .”

Lance was about to say something when he noticed that there were quite a few people listening to their conversation. Passersby stayed rooted on their spots to tune in to what the two young lads had to say, not minding if it was their conversation to hear about. “Let’s just stop,” Lance said in defeat.

Keith said nothing and continued walking when Lance strutted past him. The onlookers sighed in disappointment and carried on with their life. The two walked in silence in what should’ve been their bonding time together.

After returning from their recent mission, Keith made some time to visit Lance, and now the two were at a bazaar selling rarities window-shopping. Tents made from purple wool were held up by sticks and poles. The moon, along with the bright lights, illuminated the sky, but they were quickly overshadowed by the oil lamps that hung inside every stall. Aliens from different planets visit the International Bazaar annually, making it some sort of hobby for everyone.

Keith thought that the bazaar would be a nice place to spend with Lance, given the boy’s love for things that can be an object for attraction. After today, they would’ve hung out for the remainder of the week before he leaves. This time, he’d properly say goodbye. But another change of plans occurred, shattering their plans. For the record, he thought that he had more than one day to spend with Lance. However Kolivan just called him a while ago to inform him of a recent change in schedule.

Oh how the universe despised him.

Lance was walking fast ahead of him, and Keith could feel a pang of guilt shoot through his whole being. _I’m sorry._ After a while, he slowed down. “What time will you leave?” Lance said, as if in a whisper.

“A little bit after 7 in the morning.”

“Well then,” Lance turned back and attempted to plaster on a smile, “We should spend all of our time wisely then.”

Lance’s fake smile tugged all of Keith’s heartstrings in a good/bad way. “I enjoy all of our time together though.”

“Every single second?”

Keith nodded.

“Me too.” Lance replied as he returned Keith’s soft smile. The soft glow of the yellow lights coming from the bazaar tents reflected themselves in Lance’s ocean eyes, and Keith could swear he was drowning in every second he stares into them.

***

“Kolivan said I’m going to their next mission!” Keith basically shouted at Lance.

He grabbed the Cuban boy from the shoulders and shook him to his core. “I’m going!!!!” Lance was giggling uncontrollably by Keith’s sudden implosion of happiness. He allowed himself to be his ragdoll for a few minutes before untangling himself from him. “Okay okay,” he laughed. He looked back at Keith who looked as if he was just given a gift from Santa Clause and found himself smiling like crazy.

_Oh Gods his energy is infectious._

“When did he tell you?”

“Just a while ago! Shiro asked me to come to the interface and then there was Kolivan with his face big and glowy with the the hologram and –“

“Whoa there bud you’re talking way too fast for my ears,” Lance said as he raised his hands to halt him.

Keith laughed. “Sorry sorry. I’m just so excited you know? I’ve been waiting for him to reply for AGES but only now do I get an answer.”

“Yeah, I remember you almost crying a while back because you were worried your mom wasn’t going to allow you to go,” Lance chuckled.

“Remember me why I went to you? And for the record, I didn’t cry. “

“I said almost.”

“What?! I was nowhere near crying.”

Lance ruffled up his hair and imitated Keith’s looks. “LAnCe, thIs meAns sO MuCh tO mE.” Lance fake cried.

“I did not do that!” Keith scoffed.

“Uh yes you did!”

“Did not!”

“You did!”

The two butted heads and growled. “Oh you did it this time mullet.” Lance taunted.

“Oh yeah?”

“Hell yeah!”

The two looked at each other’s eyes and laughed. “You know what Keith? This calls for a celebration.”

“Yeah, I think it does.”

Lance leads Keith to the kitchen by the hand and unknown to him, Keith was blushing furiously. It was already past everyone’s bed time, so the only ones awake were the two plus Shiro who liked handling the helm to make sure everything was okay. The lights were at their dimmest, so along the way, Lance often bumped into many corners to Keith’s laughter.

Once they arrived at the kitchen, Lance whipped out all of the ingredients found in their fridge. “So what are we going to cook today my humble assistant and customer?” Lance said.

“Hmm,” Keith went along with the act by tapping his forefinger against his head, long like he was racking his mind for an answer. “I think I want some cake to celebrate this wondrous occasion.”

“Then cake it is.”

Lance took all of the needed ingredients and placed them near the oven. While Lance mixed and cracked eggs, Keith was sitting on the table-top eating an apple and listening to him mumble about all nonsensical things that pops in his mind.

“Dragonfruit makes no sense to me,” Lance said. “They have this awesome covering that makes it look like it’s covered in hell-fire only to taste meh. Like it just tastes bland!!!!! With that coating you’d expect it to be a bomb but it’ll only let you down. I mean sure it can be sweet if you pick a good one but for most of the time it’s just plain bland and I’d rather drink sugar water than buy a single one of those.”

Keith found it amusing how Lance could rap about the inconsistencies of a fruit he has personally not tasted, and has only seen on social media when one of his friends from the Garrison posted it. But aside from that, he has not laid eyes on a dragonfruit and does not even remember what it looks like. But hey, if that’s what Lance wants to talk about then who is he to interrupt?

“But anyways, my mom makes this amazing dragonfruit pies that explodes flavors in your mouth like wow she can make a religion out of the blandest of food. If she can work with a dragonfruit, then she can work with anything.”

“You really hate dragonfruit huh?” Keith said.

“It’s not that I hate it. I just believe that it shouldn’t have a price since it’s at the very bottom of the fruit tier list and should only be given for free.”

“But that would make dragonfruit farmers bankrupt?”

Lance looked at him deadpan. “Did I lie though?”

This made Keith laugh. Lance softly smiled at him before placing the batter in the oven and removing his mittens. “Okay so now we have to make to the frosting.”

“Don’t you meaning icing?”

“Nope, frosting. Icing is for cupcakes and small decorations since it’s soft and thin. Frosting is for all those heavyweight cakes that needs some molding,” Lance explained.

Keith had his mouth agape like he had an epiphany knowing the difference between the two. _They were different?_ He thought to himself. Lance walked over and closed his mouth. “C’mon let’s make some _frosting,_ ” Lance said as he seemingly made fun of the fact that Keith didn’t know what frosting is.

_I’ll let him slide this time_.

Lance grabbed the ingredients for the frosting from the fridge and laid them down in front of Keith. The two worked in a comfortable silence. Keith’s world became this small ice globe where he and Lance are hunched over the countertop mixing butter and sugar. They were awfully close to each other. But instead of feeling a constricting feeling in his heart like he usually does, he feels a sense of tenderness, probably from the intimacy of the moment.

The hum of the mixer filled the room with its vibrations. White _frosting_ swirling in the tub. Nothing more, nothing less. Keith’s hips were touching Lance’s, their shoulders not needing any space. Keith smiled quietly to himself.

_Whatever we are,_ Keith thought to himself, _whether we’re barely lovers or just close friends, I treasure this man._ Though he’ll never say this out loud due to the fear of losing him, it’ll be a secret that he’ll keep.

_Ding_

The oven signalled the two that the timer has now gone off, breaking the moment’s momentum. Lance removed the cake from the oven and let it rest. After this, he then spread the frosting along the sides of the cake. Using a piping bag, he decorated the edges of the cake with swirls and curls.

“Tada! We now have a celebratory cake for the incoming first mission of the new recruit, Keith Kogane.”

Keith was amazed by the finished product. The vanilla cake was simple and elegant, austere to the point of minimalism. It was almost perfect.

“Wait, I have an idea,” Lance said. He dashed towards the fridge and opened it up. He placed a milk carton at the foot to prevent it from closing. He then closed the lights overhead, bathing them in the soft glow of the cold light.

“There.”

Keith could only make out half of Lance’s face, yet it was enough. “Congrats again Keith. You deserve it.”

Keith opened his mouth to say something, but found out he had nothing to say. He just closed his mouth and smiled fondly at Lance. With the soft glow, the two ate the cake in silence, giggling whenever one had frosting at the edge of their lips.

***

Lance was waiting for Keith’s phone call. One month after Keith was away for his mission, Lance finally got a message from Kolivan stating that he gave Keith permission to talk to him for five minutes. It may not be much, but it’s all he got. And whatever time he got he’ll take it wholeheartedly.

He was prancing around nervously in his room, not knowing how to talk to Keith or what to say to him. Though one month doesn’t seem like a lot, Lance still feels like a lot may have happened to him, to both of them actually. Being a Paladin means that shit is constantly happening all-over the universe with each incident as different from the one before. He could be someone else entirely, someone Keith couldn’t recognize.

Or perhaps, Keith was the one who changed. Perhaps the missions were too harsh and molded him into this diamond Keith, unflinching and totally emotionless. Maybe he’s the same, but his goals are realigned, dreams where he no longer needs a playboy like him. Maybe he met someone new, someone better, someone more serious and more attractive. Someone that isn’t like Lance. But the worst possibility lies in where Keith no longer wants to talk to Lance, that maybe he’s just tired of his shenanigans. Keith could find someone new as long as he’s still able to talk to him, even if it would break his heart. But he didn’t have the emotional capacity to cut all of his ties to Keith, he was just too much to let go.

_Stop it Lance,_ he though to himself, _you’re overreacting. It’s not like you two are dating._

Somehow, that made things even worse. The worst/best part of what they have is the fact that they have something that Lance knows is special. He just doesn’t know if Keith feels the same.

As if on cue, his phone started ringing, and Lance bolted to press the receiver.

“Hello?”

There was a pause, and then-

“Hey,” a gruff voice said from the intercom.

Lance felt his heart beating faster.

_Oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods_ _Oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods Oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods Oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods Oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods._

His brain literally malfunctioned. It took him a moment to regain his composure and focus again on Keith’s voice.

“Lance? Are you there?”

“I’m here.”

There was another bout of silence, and Lance didn’t know how to fix it. Normally he’d crack a dead-ass joke, but his heart was throbbing too much too think on anything funny. _Well fuck it_.

“How are you?”

“Fine, I guess. You?”

“I’m okay.”

“ . . .”

“. . . so, how’s the others?”

“They’re fine. Pidge is doing their usual tinkering. Hunk’s trying on new recipes. Allura and Shiro acting like parents. Coran is . . . doing Coran stuff.”

Lance could hear him chuckle from the other side of the intercom, making his heart quiet down and bloom. “Well Coran is Coran,” Keith said.

The two had nothing to say again. _This is harder than I thought_.

“I miss you,” Keith said.

Lance was surprised at the sudden frankness, but smiled nonetheless. “I miss you too.” Lance stood up to close the lights. He then returned to lie on his bed and tuck himself with his blanket.

“I enjoy what I do,” Keith continued, “I really do. Helping the universe and all. But it gets lonely. Not that I’m saying I don’t like the other agents here. It’s just that I miss being with you guys, especially you.”

Lance feels himself blushing with Keith’s words. “Honestly, me too. I could only imagine how you’d feel, getting plunged in a new surrounding all of a sudden. But . . . it’s not the same without you here. I love the crew, but . . . ugh I don’t know. I just miss you okay?”

“Me too.”

“. . .”

“. . .”

“Lance?”

“Hmm?”

“Would it be selfish of me to want you here?”

Lance smiled. “No, it wouldn’t. But if it is, you know, selfish. Please be selfish, all the time.”

“Thank God, I thought I was going crazy.” The two laugh at Keith’s joke.

“So, what are you doing right now?” Lance asked.

“Not much. Talking to you. I’m by the wall, wearing my uniform, you know, with the phone against my ear.”

“Are you alone?”

“Yes”

Lance could imagine Keith leaning against a metal wall, perfectly still like a statue. A Greek one, he may add. His wavy hair would be covering a bit of his eyes from his sides, lips as plump as watermelons during harvest days. He could imagine it so perfectly that it hurts.

“You, what are you doing?”

“Well, the same as you. Except I’m lying down on my bed, with a blanket covering me, and the lights are turned off so it’s pitch black here.”

Lance could hear someone calling Keith from the other line.

“Okay,” Keith said to the person. “So Kolivan said that I need to go now.”

Lance heart deflated a little bit upon hearing the news. _Damn, that was already 5 minutes?_

“Oh, goodbye then.”

“Yeah, but before that, Lance?”

“Keith?”

“When I come back next time? Do you want to I don’t know, go out with me for . . . bonding time?”

Lance laughed. “But we already had a bonding moment, you cradled me in your arms.”

“So you did remember!” Keith half-screamed through the interface.

“Yeah I did hahahah, but sure. I’d love to go out with you.”

“Thanks Lance.”

“Goodbye then.”

“Goodbye”

“Take care”

“Sleep tight”

“Take your vitamins”

“Miss you”

Lance paused, but before he could reply the line was gone. He lay there dejectedly.

”Keith,” Lance whispered to the darkness, “Can I get close to you?

***

“I’m sorry Keith,” Kolivan said, “Something happened at Beta Galaxy and we are needed there ASAP.”

Keith almost stumbled backward upon hearing the news. Almost two weeks has passed since he asked Lance out, and tomorrow was supposed to be their special day. Though he understood the need to cancel his plans, it pained him to wait for longer.

“Can I at least call someone? It’s just that I made plans with them and they’re expecting me to come,” Keith said.

“I would, but I worry that it’ll affect you and the mission itself. The last time we allowed you, you seemed . . . well, different.”

It was true. The last time he talked to Lance, his head was so over the clouds that he didn’t react fast enough when their ship was under attack. He was almost left behind if it weren’t for his mom sticking with him.

“I understand,” Keith said dejectedly.

Kolivan offered a sympathetic smile and patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll just send a message to them saying you have to attend something urgent. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

He walked past Keith and exited. After the familiar swoosh of the closing metal doors, Keith was left with his feelings. He really was waiting for tomorrow. Ever since he scheduled that date, he darted and marked that day on his calendar. Every day that passed meant a new cross on a number, inching towards the one with the bright red circle mark. But there was no point to them, do they?

_The universe hates me._

Keith sighed and exited the room with no particular direction in mind. He wondered how Lance would feel. He’d probably feel sad. Fuck it he’d think that he chickened out, or worse, that he never wanted to come at all. Keith facepalmed himself. Of all people, it was Lance that he never wanted to be sat at the slightest. Not that he’s okay with making other people sad. It’s just that a sad Lance makes Keith’s heart ache in anger, anger to the world. The universe was not kind to Keith, that he accepted, but even it was even crueller to Lance.

_How cruel can the world be to make a golden boy sad?_

Unknown to Keith, he was actually walking towards something, or someone to be specific. Without him knowing, he was now standing in front of his mother’s chambers. And honestly? He needed some advice.

Keith knocked three times before calling her name. “Mom?”

Not a dobash passed, his mom was already at the door. She was just wearing her pajamas, no armor on, with her purple hair loosely tied around in a ponytail. She looked confused.

“Keith? Is there anything wrong?” Her eyebrows scrunched up in concern.

“Uh no,” Keith said as he rubbed his nape, “Actually yes, but it’s not that serious.”

“Come in.”

Krolia stepped aside to allow her son to enter, and the two sat in her bed. “So,” Krolia said, "Did something happen?”

“Nothing much,” Keith opened up reluctantly, “It’s just that we were supposed to have a rest day tomorrow right?”

“Hmm,”

“Well, I contacted my friend to say that you know, we should go out and do something. Just to bond and all nothing romantic.” Krolia raised her eyebrow at her son’s words. “And I told him that two weeks prior.”

“And?”

“And . . . I’m just worried that he’ll think that I stood him up, that’s all.” His mom nodded. “We don’t have anything going on between us! I’m just concerned for his well-being, that’s all.”

“Hmm, you’re in a tight spot son,” His mom said. “Did you try contacting him?”

“I wanted to, but Kolivan didn’t allow me because of last time.” Krolia remembered about last time, and decided that it was probably for the best to not let him on the phone.

“Hmm what could we do then. . . “ Krolia brainstormed with herself while Keith brooded in front of her. Suddenly an idea came to her. “I think I got something.” She stood up and took a tablet from her drawer. “Here, you could write an email and I’ll drop it off at the next stop. We can’t do it now since we have no stable connection and the enemy troops can intercept our signal. But I know a friend who can deliver a message after a day or two delay.”

Keith beamed at her mother’s fast thinking. “Thanks mom,” he said. He took the tablet from her hands. “Do you mind if I take it to my room? I’ll give it back later.”

“Sure thing.”

Keith smiled one last time before walking out, “Thanks again mom, it really means a lot,” Keith said before closing the door.

Krolia’s lips curled at the sight of his lovestruck son. _Oh youth_.

***

Lance has been feeling down for the past days. The day before he was supposed to meet with Keith, Kolivan called from the interface to say that Keith couldn’t come. He only said that he was needed for a mission, and then the line went black. Even though Lance tried to look okay, the others immediately saw through his façade and immediately came forward to comfort him.

“I’m sure he wanted to go Lance,” Shiro said as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I mean, he was the one who asked you out first right? There’s no way he’d stood you up without any good reason,” Hunk said.

Pidge elbowed Hunk for his ill-picked words, eliciting an ouch from the Samoan. “What Hunk tried to say is, Keith probably wanted to go. Just bad timing and all.”

“Yeah,” Lance said as he tried to keep back his tears. “Probably Blade of Marmora stuff ya know?” He already felt his eyes getting wet. _I need to get out of here._ _FAST._

“I’m okay guys don’t worry. Same old Keith.” He tried to laugh it all away, but he guessed the others weren’t buying it based on their faces. “I think I’ll just need to be alone for a while.”

“Lance,” Allura called out. But before anyone could say anything else, Lance already bolted out of the room and into the corridor. He dashed through every corner, tears brimming. Once he arrived at his room, he immediately jumped into his bed. There the tears came.

Though he mentally cursed at himself for laughing at a mundane matter, he still couldn’t stop. _Lance McClain what the fuck are you crying about?_ _Because you really were waiting for tomorrow to come._ Lance sobbed in to the pillow as his subconsciouses were fighting against each other.

The truth was he was desperately looking forward to his “date” with Keith. The day after their phone call, Lance was already picking something to wear. He debated going with his usual clothes, the green hoodie and jeans, but he deeply wanted to impress Keith with something new. He ransacked his own cabinet in and out to get something good to wear. He even dragged Hunk to be the judge. He was just so excited! But sadly Keith probably didn’t feel the same.

Lance tried to understand Keith, he really did. He tried to be selfless and think of his safety now that Keith’s going on a mission, to be the waiting lover pining on love’s wings. But all he could do was mourn and mope with no regards for Keith’s well-being.

_Maybe I really am selfish_.

Lance stayed like that for a few days. He rarely got out of his room to eat, and when he did (with the egging of Pidge and Hunk), he only nibbled at his food and went back to his room to doze off. He really was distraught.

One day, Shiro knocked on his door to try to talk to him.

“Lance?” Shiro called from outside Lance’s room. “Can I come in?” After knocking three times with still no answer, he decided that maybe it’s for the best that he enters without Lance’s invitation. The metal doors slid open, leaving Shiro shocked at the sigh before him.

Shiro knew that Lance was affected by Keith standing him up. But he was not prepared for the sight that awaited him beyond the bedroom doors. Heaps of clothes lay scattered on the floor paired with used tissue papers littered round and about. The room stank with origins that even Shiro, a man who faced several traumas, would not want to face. In the middle of his bed, Lance lied with his back against him, wearing clothes that Shiro swore was the same ones he wore days prior.

“Lance?” Shiro said warily.

No answer. Shiro doubted that Lance was even awake, but upon stepping closer, he saw that Lance’ eyes were wide open. He positioned himself beside the boy before placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, could we talk?”

Lance looked like he wouldn’t even move a single muscle, but after a few moments he realized that Shiro wouldn’t move either without talking to him. Slowly, he turned himself to face the Japanese man.

“How you holding up?” Shiro said despite the answer already handed right in front of him in a silver platter courtesy of Lance’s face.

There were deep bags under his eyes, a sign that even though he locked himself in his room, he still couldn’t sleep. The usually clear skin Lance had a pimple on his forehead and a small moustache. He looked like a living corpse.

“I’m fine, I guess,” Lance said.

Shiro gulped. _How am I supposed to continue this conversation?_ He sighed. _Welp, guess I need to do this as straightforward as I can._

“I’m sure Keith wanted to go.”

Lance pouted upon hearing his words. “I’m sure he did.”

“Trust me Lance. I’ve known him since he was a kid, and well, let’s just say that you’re the first person he ever asked out.”

With this, Lance ears perked up and he looked at Shiro. “Really?” But the sudden burst of life was gone as fast as it came. “He didn’t come anyway so what’s the point.”

Shiro scooted besided Lance and draped his arm around him. “You can let it all out bud.”

Lance didn’t know if that was his end point. Maybe it was the stench that he had, or the general uncleanliness of the room. But Shiro’s words made the well inside of him to surge up with excess water. He finally cried.

“It just hurts man,” Lance bawled. “I know we’re just friends and I shouldn’t even be looking forward to this- this-“ He tried to fill in the words, grasping it in the air. Before Shiro could even finish his sentence, Lance beat him to it. “Bonding time!” Shiro mentally facepalmed himself for the sheer ignorance of his kid.

“But for some reason, I can’t help but be sad. Maybe I was just misinterpreting things and he didn’t thought of our bonding time in any other way than just some mandatory time for two bros two catch up.”

In his mind, Shiro was now full-on banging his head against the wall. “I’m sure that’s not what he meant bud,” he said as he caressed his hair.

“Do you really think so?” Lance said, snot running down his face.

“Definitely,” Shiro reassured.

Light beamed from his eyes, and he grabbed the nearest clean tissue to wipe his face. Before he could take a bath, Pidge and Hunk barged into the room with a tablet. “Hey Lance look at-“ Pidge stopped talking when they saw that Shiro was also in the room. “Shiro? What are you doing here?”

Shiro shrugged. “Just giving Lance the pep talk.”

“Oh okay,” Hunk said, “But no need for that since look at what we found!” He shoved the tablet into Lance’s face. “It’s a letter from Keith!”

“whAT?!” Lance immediately took the tablet from Hunk’s hands to make sure it was real. The first words confirmed it.

_To Lance,_

He already felt his heart bursting from the seams.

_To Lance_

_To Lance_

_To Lance_

Tears of happiness began forming at the edges if his eyes. He shifted his gaze towards the others, and he saw that they too were waiting for what Keith had to say.

“Nope, nada. My moment, mine!” He said as he shoved them outside.

Though they protested, Lance had no trouble pushing them all out. What he didn’t realize was that they were only doing it to not make it look suspicious, because they already realized what was going on between the two, but would not force either one of them to say without them wanting to. When the three were already outside, Lance jumped unto his bed to finish reading the letter.

_To Lance,_

_Hey._

_Idk what to say, and idk how to apologize or how to make it up to you. I screwed up and I’m sorry. Kolivan just informed me the day before our meet-up, and I wasn’t allowed to call you personally. So now I resorted to do snail e-mail (does that make sense??) since sending an e-mail here would be suicide since we’re deep in enemy territory. By the time this arrives, you’re already smoking red and most probably fuming._

_I’m sorry Lance. I really am. I just . . . ugh, this letter made so much more sense in my mind than in paper, or in monitor, or is it screen???? But my point is, I’d rather tell you I’m sorry in person than to tell it repeatedly in mail._

_So can I meet you one week after today? Same time?_

_Please?_

_From your mullet boy,_

_Keith._

Lance squealed. _He said “your mullet boy”,_ he screamed in his mind. He buried his head in his pillow as he giggled and screamed like a bad boy, the sound muffled by the soft cotton. He looked at the calendar, only to find out that today was supposed to be the day they were supposed to meet.

***

Keith had been waiting for almost two hours.

One week after their supposed meeting, he immediately went to his mother to help him choose what to wear. Though he already decided before to wear the same clothes he always wore (the red almost crop-top jacket and black jeans), he wanted Lance to know that he really put in effort into their date, and wearing his regular clothes do not convey that message. With Krolia’s help, he was now wearing a dark red t-shirt and black pants with his hair pulled up in a ponytail.

 _But if Lance’s not gonna show up,_ Keith thought to himself.

_. . ._

Frankly he didn’t want to finish the sentence.

He was standing in front of a random restaurant at the space mall because apparently, he didn’t specify a meeting place to Lance. So now he had to wait at the entrance of the closest shop near the mall’s only entry point. However, two hours of waiting seems to send a clear message.

_He’s not coming dumbass._

Keith facepalmed himself for all of his shortcomings. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ Lance’s probably mad disappointed in him, and he should be. He gave him false hope, and there’s nothing he could do to apologize. The best thing to do is to show up in person to make him realize that he really wanted to meet.

“KEITH!!”

One moment, Keith was feeling down and dejected at the possibility that Lance wouldn’t come. The next moment, everything was tangled in the vines of his complicated feelings for the boy careening towards him at full speed.

Did he mention, careening?

Lance was unable to pull the brakes on himself and ends up clashing with Keith, both boys tumbling to the ground.

“Ouchhhhh,” Lance groaned.

Keith grimaced in pain as he sat up-right. Being an Agent of Marmora and former Paladin, he expected to be prepared to face such things. _Turns out he wasn’t._ Still, he was able to stand after a couple of seconds. He stared at the Cuban boy sitting on the floor as he rubs his neck and rolls his head and how his eyes flutter as he massages his nape and oh gods Keith is just utterly hopeless isn’t he?

_He’s here._

_He’s fucking here._

_Lance McClain is fucking here._

_Oh gods._

He was having a mental boom at the sudden revelation that his date didn’t stand him up (like he did) and was in front of him, panting due to the running. Keith was totally sure that Lance wouldn’t go, but he did. Does this mean that . . . he wanted to see Keith?

“Hellooo, are you really not gonna help me out here?” Lance said.

Keith was cut off from his day dreaming. “Oh, sorry.” He offered Lance his hand and the Paladin gratefully accepted it. However, he used too much force to pull him up, and now Lance was forced to hold onto him for support, causing him to blush.

_This pretty boy will be the death of me._

“Oh shit,” Lance muttered as he looked away. “I’m sorry.” _Wait, why is his ears red?_ Keith couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He was fairly convinced someone drugged him on his way here because there is no way Lance is blushing.

“Soooo,” Keith said. “What do you wanna do?”

“I thought you already had a plan in mind?” Lance said as he placed his hands on his hips. “You were the one who invited me!”

“How was I supposed to know what you wanted to do!”

“What do YOU wanted to do?”

The two started bickering about their plans for the day. They continued doing that as they walked around the mall, pointing at various stalls and stores. After a while, they got tired and decided to eat a shop that sold fast foods.

“I missed eating burgersssssss,” Lance moaned as he bit his burger.

“Doesn’t Hunk cook burgers back in the castle?” Keith said as he dipped a fry in ketchup. He then popped it onto his mouth.

“Not really, he prefers cooking cuisines and all of those stuff which I admit are nice, I just miss eating something so unhealthy and greasy!”

“You’re helpless,” Keith chuckled.

Both boys talked about the recent events that happened to their lives. Lance found himself horrified at the sights that Keith has discovered in his time as an agent. Aliens in captivity, torture to every non-Galran life form, Keith shuddered at the things he recalled.

“I hope you don’t feel lonely out there then,” Lance said.

“I do, but my mom and Kolivan are there when I need someone to talk to. Plus,” he added. “I could email you every time I want to talk to you.”

“Speaking of email, I only received your message today. And that’s why I came running towards you.”

“What?!” Keith knew the mail would take long, but not THIS LONG.

“Yep, and because of that I was moping around in my room coz I thought you stood me up.”

“Yeah,” Keith said as he rubbed his nape. “Sorry about that.”

“And I’m still angry.” Lance pouted and crossed his arms. “And I would still be until the day ends, and the last memory you’ll have is a mad Lance. Unlesssssss.”

“Unless?” Keith gulped.

“Unless you sing Karaoke with me,” Lance said, eyes speaking its own devil ways.

“No no no no no no no no,” Keith said as he waved his hands frantically. “Anything but that.”

Keith had absolutely no talent when it comes to singing. One day he was singing in the showers back at HQ, and he was forced to stop when the other troops began complaining to Kolivan about the dying walrus who regularly takes a bath. _That bad._ Making him sing, in public nonetheless, was like signing your own suicide note.

He tried to bargain with Lance, even offering up to 10% of his own salary. But Lance was stubborn, and what he wanted, he did everything to get.

Fortunately for him, Keith was a simple plan.

_If Lance’s gonna be happy, fuck it, so am I._

Keith was now sitting nervously at the infamous karaoke stool, waiting for Lance to finish typing in the songs. Nervous was an understatement. He was already sweating from anxiety, the back of his shirt sticking to his body.

They were at the arcade by the corner where the karaoke part was. Disco lights bathed him in soft colors, a stark contrast to the blinding prismatic colors emitted by various video game machines. Sitting at the stage, there were quite an audience, fellow karaoke goers who were waiting for their turn. Still, this did not put him at ease.

Lance propped down to his seat next to him. “Are you ready bud?!”

The title song appeared in the screen, _Kissaphobic_ by Make out Monday. Lance volunteered to go first, then Keith. Everything would be topped off by a duet which he admits is already making his stomach lurch and heart jump in excitement.

“ _I’m I'm kissaphobic_

_Don't wanna get too clooooooooose to you,”_

Holy shit.

Lance had an amazing voice. Whenever he sang back in the castle or at the dorms, he’d sing some modern pop songs in such an off-key tune that he was frequently laughed at. And he loved that. He did it on purpose to make everyone in the room laugh, even used it a couple of times to make the teachers laugh and lose concentration as they cheat and eat in class. So imagine the shock Keith felt when Lance sang in such a serious way.

His voice wasn’t a lullaby; it didn’t make you want to sleep. It was forceful and leathery, powerful in the right places. It made you wide awake. Keith found himself gaping at the boy beside him. He wasn’t just singing, he was performing without even moving.

_“But I'm kissaphobic_

_Don't wanna get too close to you_

_Your mouth is a hurricane_

_You do this a lot now don't you baby.”_

The song ended, and some from the audience clapped at Lance. His singing made Keith mesmerized, entranced one could say. But it also meant one thing, it was Keith’s turn. He gulped. The screen faded away to new scenery and the song Shelter showed at the scene

_All or nothing._

“ _I guess you don't need it_

_I guess you don't want me to repeat it_

_But everything I have to give I'll give to you,”_

Keith sang the songs in his softest voice possible, afraid that by going too load everyone will hear his hideous voice. Lance noticed, and tried nudging him into singing louder by singing along to some parts. Little by little, he slowly gained confidence up to the point wherein Lance allowed him to sing on his own. To his amazement, he didn’t sing as bad as he thought it would. Well, based on the fact that no one was covering their ears yet or barfing from their seats.

“ _Hey, you will shelter me, my love_

_And I, I will shelter you_

_If you shelter me too_

_I will shelter you_

_I will shelter you,”_

The song ended, and Keith waited for someone to boo at him. No one did. He breathed a sigh of relief and as he turned to look at Lance’s reaction, the boy was actually smiling. It was a soft one, his smile. His eyes had a soft twinkle, as if proud that Keith was not the dying walrus he claimed to be.

“You’re not as bad as I thought you were,” Lance remarked.

“Yeah,” Keith said. “You too.”

It was now their moment, the moment of truth: the duet. Keith had no idea whatsoever what they were going to sing. When he asked Lance as he dragged the former Paladin by the hand, he only replied with a wink. _Oh how this boy likes to tease me,_ he thought. But the screen revealed to him the song, and for fuck sake, Lance could not choose a cheesier (albeit romantic) song.

_Lucky_

“You go first,” Lance said.

Keith gave him a wtf look, mouthing _really._ Though he wanted to say more, he was interrupted when the song started, forcing him to sing.

“ _Do you hear me,_

_I'm talking to you_

_Across the water across the deep blue ocean_

_Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying_

_Boy I hear you in my dreams_

_I feel your whisper across the sea_

_I keep you with me in my heart_

_You make it easier when life gets hard,”_

Lance sang along with Keith when the song entered the chorus. By no means did it sound great. He had absolutely no idea how to vocalize with other people. Though Lance tried, Keith was able to mess it all up by trying to vocalize, hence changing the pitch. But even with this, Lance didn’t get annoyed at the slightest and was just giggling while Keith was flustered.

The song entered the last chorus, and without saying anything, Lance placed his mic on the ground and grabbed Keith’s. Now, both boys were singing with the same microphone, Lance’s hand on top of his. If Keith wasn’t red before, he definitely is now.

“ _I'm lucky we're in love in every way_

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed_

_Lucky to be coming home someday_

_Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh_

_Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh_ ”

The whole time, the two were looking at each other’s eyes, not willing to let go. The song ended, returning the two back to reality. But that was enough, wasn’t it? A quiet confirmation to set their hearts on the same path.

“Do you want to come ummmmm, visit the others backkkk in the palace?” Lance asked.

Keith was pleasantly surprised by Lance’s proposal. “I do.”

“KEITHH!” Pidge and Hunk exclaimed.

Before he could even respond with a proper hi or hello, the two rushed forward and squeezed all the living the life out of the poor boy. “Nice to see you too,” Keith said as his face turned into a twinge of blue. They let him go from his grasp and clutch the boy’s shoulder.

“Good thing you had time to visit us!” Pidge exclaimed.

“Well we had some time off so I decided to spend time with you guys,” Keith chuckled nervously.

“Pfft,” Shiro said at one end of the room. “He just came for Lance.” All of them laughed at Shiro’s teasing, except one flustered Keith who was trying to explain himself to the others.

“What?! Nooooo. Pfft- I—“

Shiro walked towards him and placed a brotherly arm around his shoulders. “It’s okay. We know you definitely didn’t come here just to see Lance. No uh, definitely not.”

Keith looked at Lance for help, but he just stood there trying to laugh, hoping that some of their jokes had some truth in it.

“Today was tiring.” Keith said as they exited the dining room.

The crew just finished eating one of Hunk’s amazing dishes, and all are ready to hit the bed and shut the lights. Everyone caught up with Keith’s adventures while they recount their own. Even after the time they spent away, it still felt like home. All of their foolish banter was still present, as if distance was nothing in the midst of family. The two sat beside each other at the dinner table, secretly stealing glances from each other when fate permits.

Lance didn’t want the night to end. He knew that if he let the boy go tonight, it will take a long time before he gets to see him again. And he knows how lonely nights can pan out for so long within the same time frame of those nights with another in their cover. If he lets him go, how many lonely nights does he have to endure?

“Keith?” Lance called out.

Keith tuned his head at the sound of his name. “Hmm?”

“So umm, do you want to sleep in my room? We’re not gonna do anything funny obviously. We could just perhaps talk to each other before we sleep and spend our remainig time together. You know, like the good bros that we are?”

Lance waited for Keith’s reaction. It seemed like the former black paladin had some trouble processing his stupid request, making him regret his decision to let his mouth run its course.

“But it’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to today was tiring and I’d perfectly understand if you just want to rest yep I perfectly do.”

“Lance,”

“I think it’s also kinda funny that I want you to sleep on my bed wait wait wait not on my bed but sleep with you with me while we sleep on the floor wait I think that came out wrong.”

“Lance . . .”

“But anywho I’m gonna get going now and rest at my bed while you sleep on yours yep what a nice plan babye—“

“LANCE!” Keith grabbed his hand and held it. “If you want me to . . . I’d also like to sleep in um . . . the same room as you?” He said the last part like a question, making it sound like he was unsure of what he wanted when in fact staying beside Lance all night was the pinnacle of his dreams. Well, aside from being with him for the rest of his life. But Lance doesn’t need to know that _._

“Oh, okay,” Lance said in a kind of daze.

“Can I then?”

‘SUre!” This brought him back from his daze and the two went to his room. Once Lance opened the light, however, he realized that his room was pretty much still in a wreck. Tissues, dirty clothes, food wrappers . . . oh no. He was in too much of a hurry to arrive at the space mall to bother fixing his shit. Now Keith had to see how much of a mess he was while he was gone.

“Oh fuck ah hold on as I clean everything up,” He said as he picked up everything and chucked the trash in the bin and stuffed all the clothes in a hamper. A few grunts later and the room can now be labelled as acceptable. When he turned his head, he was startled to find Keith fidgeting as he scratched his neck.

“Keef?” Lance knew his room was dirty, but he didn’t know it was that dirty to send a man crying. He tapped the boy’s shoulder to get his attention.

“I’m sorry,” Keith said out of the blue.

“Okay . . . but for what?” Lance was truly puzzled.

“Before the news that we’d meet today, were you . . . were you okay?”

 _Oh, that._ Keith must’ve noticed the snot-ridden napkins that he used. “You already know I’d be lying if I said yes.” Lance saw Keith’s sullen face and immediately changed the topic. “But you can make it up to me by staying in my room tonight.”

The boy mustered a soft smile and nodded. Lance went to his cabinet and grabbed a blanket and some pillows. After placing it on the floor beside the bed, he laid down and situated himself.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Keith said as he raised his arms. “Don’t tell me you’re going to sleep on the floor.”

“Umm, yes? Where’d you expect me to be?”

“On the bed? . . . with me.”

Lance’s eyes widened at Keith’s words. He only thought of it as a distant hope, never did he think it’d come true. “Is it okay with you?”

“Of course.”

Keith turned off the lights and Lance heard the ruffling of clothes and distant thud as it gets thrown somewhere in the room. _Did he just remove his shirt?_ Fuck, he’s so whipped for the guy isn’t he. The half-Galran laid on the bed and patted the space next to him.

“I’m still waiting.”

Seeing that he had no choice, Lance got up from his spot and lied next to Keith, his vitals spiking as he came in contact with the latter’s topless body. Lights off, silent room, he did not know what to do. All he could see in front of him was pitch black, but he knew that beside him, the love of his life was sharing his bed, and from the sound of his breathing, was also looking straight at him. Where his eyes have failed, his other senses came to life.

He stretched his hand above his head, and he felt Keith’s hand. Lance retracted his hand, acting like he just touched boiling waters, maybe because it was (Too hot for him to handle). There are moments so intimate when you don’t know if what you’re doing is right; This is one of those moments. To his surprise, Keith was the one who initiated the touching. Their hands fumbled for the right position, comparable to two ballet dancers who despite being a duo, are graded separately by the judges. But as it went on, both of them decided to lay down their armor in the flowerbeds to let love, not war, win.

Their fingers, interwined,

Laying on the bed

Two boys wait for something,

The first kiss? The first move? The first goodbye?

Both afraid, paralyzed by the crippling world of negative possibilities.

Yet their love lingers like wine on the mouth,

but leaves quickly as cigar smoke.

Strength comes and go.

Where does that leave them?

“Keith?” The Cuban boy muttered.

“Lance?”

They call each other by name, drawing out every letter in the air as if an incantation. Like every syllable was a spell of its own, ready to wake Love from their slumber.

“Thank you for today.”

The boy said, for he could not imagine why such a boy like Keith would spend his day with someone like him.

“Everyday,” Keith replied.

It was an ambiguous yes. But Lance knew deep inside what those words meant, and so with a happy heart, he goes into a deep sleep.

The next morning, Keith would be gone before his waking.

Keith woke up before Lance. The room too dark for him to see anything, the only figure he could make out was his friend’s figure as he laid there in bed. The hem of his shirt was lifted up, revealing his toned abdomen. Keith sucked in his breath. A thought crossed over his mind. Without thinking of any other thing, he reached his hand out to get a feel of Lance’ skin. It was exactly what he thought it was like. Smooth, almost marble like, yet the warmth it hols reminds him that no, Red Paladin was not a statue, he was also human.

He realized that his hand lingered on his midriff for a minute too long and immediately retracted it, shame washing over him. _What am I doing?_ Yet at the same time, he was still gazing at Lance’s sleeping figure. The boy shifted, making Keith hold his motions, but only to adjust his position. Keith got out of the bed, trying to not rouse Lance. As he changed to his clothes, he looked back him. Sound asleep, without a care in the world. He took a step towards him and kissed his forehead.

“Goodbye Lance,” He whispered to his hear.

Then, he exited the room and boarded a ship away from the Palace, a place he once called Home.

Lance stared straight at Keith as other people breezed by them. The lamps emitted the warm hue of sunlight, a stark contrast to the cool winds passing through the bazaar’s pathways. His body quaked in an almost invisible manner, yet Keith noticed it. He removed his jacket and handed it to him.

“Here, take my jacket,” Keith offered.

Lance wanted to refuse. He was still angry at him for leaving him without any form of note or apology. For days, he continued to cry, feeling his self-esteem deprecate at the thought that the boy that he loved would (almost) stand him up and leave him at dawn. Those things just don’t make a good impression on your worth. Yet at the same time, he truly missed Keith. He avoided him for weeks, not bothering to return his calls nor his texts.

One night while they were having dinner, the whole gang convinced him to try talking to Keith again.

“Lance, the poor boy has been calling the intercom for the gazillionth time!” Coran said.

“Yeah Lance,” Allura said. “Can you really be angry at him forever?”

Her question made him reflect. _Can he?_ He didn’t know the answer to his own question, so he decided to meet Keith again to determine whether he has the ability to forgive him. Keith, with his hand outstretched, gut-wrenching expression etched on his face, make him realized something: _He could._ He loved him too dearly

Even without any confirmation.

“ . . . thanks.” Lance accepted the red jacket and flung him over his own brown hoodie. Now, he looks like a pumpkin ripe for harvest. He chuckled at the thought, and though the other boy couldn’t fathom what was so funny, his lips curled at the edges at the scene before him. The two meandered at the bazaar. Sometimes, they picked interesting stuff up and hold it up for the other to see. They would not buy it though, and they’d place it back and continued their trek together.

“Do you want to go somewhere?” Keith said when he sensed that their ~~date~~ time together was going nowhere.

“Wherever you want me to go darling,” Lance flirted, rolling the last word in his mouth.

G N

I

D A R L

Keith grabbed Lance’s hand to make sure he doesn’t get lost in the crowd. “Hold on to me.” He then navigated through the mass of shopthrifters until the number thinned out, along with the number of stalls. As they got away from the center of the bazaar, the lamps dimmed out due to the space between them. The aliens got sparse in number, and it continued to do so until they were completely out of the bustling scene.

“Where are we going?” Lance said as his feet dragged against the orange sand. He was still holding tight to Keith.

“It’s a secret.”

After a few minutes of walking, they arrived in a place that oddly resembled the Grand Canyon back in earth. Rock formations like grand entrances made up of rock conglomerates reached up high. Lance imagined they were passage ways to other dimensions that by walking through them, he and Keith would traverse into realms unimaginable. The moonlight would be a magical spell, the black sky the canvas, and the stars would be the magicians. All three would be working together like they were some grand orchestra. Oddly enough, the place also resembled someplace very very familiar.

“Keith this looks like the desert near—“

“Desert near the Garrison? Gotcha.” Keith stared at the marvellous scene. They were on the upper parts of the desert. From here, the land below looks like a thousand miles down under the sea. Keith pulled a small canister from his pockey, and upon twisting its cap, a plain baby blue blanket extracted itself from the container and seemingly placed itself on the floor. Technology really was something to hold. The boy led Lance down to the blanket where they sat and gazed at the sky.

“Thank you for giving me a chance again, Lance,” Keith said out of nowhere.

Lance snorted. “That rhymed: Lance and Chance.”

“It did huh.” He shifted his gaze towards him. “But really, thank you.”

Lance felt himself melting. “It’s nothing. Anything for yo—a friend.” Lance corrected himself.

“It’s not nothing.” Keith heaved a sigh before he continued. “I’ve failed my promises for so many times. I left you in the Palace. The next time that we tried to meet, I stood you up and delayed it. As if I couldn’t do anything more wrong, I left you without saying a proper goodbye. Lance, I’ve failed you so many times I wonder how you still consider me as your friend.” He gave a shaky breath and stared at the stars for comfort. Lance mirrored his movements, thinking that he would be much more comfortable with him not looking. The stars twinkled in the heavens, bearing witness to countless stories like theirs.

“You mean so much to me Lance, but I’ve been doing a shit job of making you feel so. I want you to be happy. I want you to be someone who only cries at sad movies and stupid stuff and not because of some severe fucking trauma and low self-esteem. I want your smile to be genuine, and not a mask to make others feel better for themselves. You are such a lovely human being and I cannot put into words how grateful I am meeting you in my whole life.

“I am so lucky to be near you, to be your friend. I cherish every moment that I am. Compared to you, I am no one. I cause no explosions. I screw up all the time and more often that I should I run away from my emotions.” Keith paused as he returned his gaze to Lance. “But I would like to try to prove I am worthy for your affection.”

Lance’s breath hitched at his words. _Is this really happening?_ “Keith what do you mean?”

“What I want to say is,” Keith said. He hovered his hand on Lance’s, testing the waters. When he saw the he had no reaction, he lowered it, two hands atop of each other. “Lance, I am madly in love with you, and if you um, allow me to, I’d like to be worthy of your love one day. I want to be beside you all the way. From the first kiss, our own marriage vows, and perhaps our first child, I want to be your future husband who will love you with all my being. I can’t see myself being happy with anyone but you. And I want to say these three words before I go: I love you.”

Lance was caught in a whirlwind of emotions.

Is Is

This Keith Really

Real It

Gods Gods

Oh

Before he could speak, his attention was caught in the flurry of meteors flashing in the sky. Comets with tails streaked upon the black sky, looking like a seamstress was crisscrossing patterns on her vanta quilt. They looked like tears of the sky, accidentally beautiful.

“Keith,” Lance gathered up the courage. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I made this after years of delay, and after falling out with the fandom after being horribly drained because of the last season. In my heart, Klance will always be Canon kings. Because of them, I was able to accept who I am as part of the LGBTQIA+ community, and that I should not be ashamed of who I am. I am not that much a fan anymore, but they will always have a place in my heart. That 13-year-old closeted boy is turning 17 in September, and I am not out of the closet because of them. 
> 
> I hope you had fun reading this fic as much as I had fun writing it!!! Stay safe during COVID, hydrate, luv u all <3


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